May 24, 2010

Reader Question: Can I invite guests to the shower who aren't invited to the wedding?

Question: My daughter is having a small wedding with just close friends and family. Is it OK to invite guests to her shower that will not be invited to the wedding?

Answer: The short and sweet answer here is NO! When you get an invitation to the shower, you can expect to get an invitation to the wedding. It is considered extremely discourteous to invite a guest to any pre-wedding event but not the wedding. It will come across like the guest is good enough to give a gift at the shower, but not important enough to be invited to the wedding. If she is keeping the wedding guest list short, keep your shower guest list just as short.

At the end of the day, you don’t want people to look back and think that their “presents” were welcome but not their “presence.”

Thanks to Susan for the great question! Do you have an etiquette question for us? Email us at!

No comments: